Over the weekend, I conjured up a moment of high drama. It started out as wild speculation. I let my imagination go until it festered into something very real to me. And in my make believe scenario, I became devastated.
Luckily, I only reached out to one other person to announce my pretend crisis. And even more fortunate for me, he didn’t respond to my text until the morning. And after a good night sleep, my sensibilities had returned. I tilted back into a normal state of being. In the light of day, my mind chaos had calmed. My vision broadened. And I realized whether my conjecture was true or false, it was really none of my business.
My friend’s response: “you…. never tire of making drama, do you?”
Right?! I was thinking about this last night. Having put in a couple of heavy-duty work days, I was basking in the afterglow of managing the havoc. I felt productive yet exhausted. And overall, I felt solace. As I was sipping my wine at my solo dinner, my mind started percolating. It was almost as if it couldn’t stand to be dormant while awake. It ran crazy work scenarios. It teased out fears surrounding Josh’s surgery, Jen’s trip and global warming. And the swirling mayhem tried to engulf me into a muddled mess. I shut it down… not easily but deliberately and with exasperation.
And in my new containment, I asked myself pointedly, “Why am I so dramatic?”
- I’m Irish. My people are storytellers and drinkers. I’m not sure what came first but the combination can be lethal.
- I’m a woman. My gender is in touch with emotion and regulated by hormones. This combination can also be lethal.
- I’m sagittarius. I’m a fire sign! We’re known for our fiery passion that can blaze out of control.
- I’m single. I believe if I had a significant other his drama along with my drama would be enough excitement for me. Without a his and hers situation, I’m susceptible to the dramatic tendencies of others. I can easily get pulled into their dramas with my Ms. Fix-It attitude.
- I’m lonely. I have to believe I must crave the attention on some level. Dramatic moments in life- fictional and nonfictional- beg for someone to take notice, to acknowledge my situation, to connect with me, to validate my existence.
- I’m loud. The quiet can make me crazy. I flourish in noisy environments. I could never be a librarian or a golfer. I’m too much of a talker.
- I’m a writer. I’m continually composing in my head. I see something happen, like a man rushing down the street. I give him a backstory: late for work, just robbed a bank, trying to catch his lover cheating on him. Right?! I’m constantly trying to tell a story even for my own amusement. And I like my stories with unexpected edge or spiciness.
I AM dramatic but fortunately I lean toward comedy for a more dramedy balance.