Day 234: What I know now

Saturday, August 23, 2014 Permalink 0


1908083_10152655870994936_2347476453387247903_nPatience is not my burden.  I don’t like to wait for instructions, decisions, life’s healing forces. I want to understand the situation immediately.  I want people to choose and move forward. I want all people – but especially people I love- to be pain-free.  The reality is life is not like that.  There are ups and downs and in-betweens.    

Richard sent me this article (I can’t link it.  Pamela Druckerman, NYT, February 28, 2014) on one gal’s 44th birthday marking her age of enlightenment.  It’s a wonderful assessment of her 20’s frivolity and 30’s regrets.  Her goal is to enjoy the decade she is in.  Good on you, Pamela!  You have it much more together than I did at 44. I loved your life lessons learned… so true! 

I spent 500 days getting ready for 50 and now I’m  234 days into the new decade and here is what I found…

*Time goes faster.  Minutes, days, seasons are shorter.  The sands in my hourglass have picked up speed.

*There is nothing I really have to have… the dress, the cookie, my way over someone else’s.   BUT if I really want it, I should buy it, eat it, fight for it… just not every time.    

*Don’t wait to be appreciated.  If I truly believe my self proclaimed mantra, “in the end only kindness matters”, then I need to be kind in the act and post act.  I can’t harbor negativity for someone else’s unkindness.

*My body may be rickety but it’s a 50 year old powerhouse.  The more I move and nudge it to be stronger, it adapts. This vessel takes care of me and I need to get it  optimized for the long haul.

*People will betray me.  Trusted people will break confidences.  I need to learn about myself from how the scenario played out but I can’t be stuck in reliving it.  I need to move forward and invest energy into the people that always have my back.

*A good night sleep is the best gift I can give myself!  

*Plan for it!  I constantly ask myself what else do I want to see, do, be.  My age no longer allows for the luxury of a “Do Over!” but I definitely have the time for the metamorphic makeovers. How do I want my life to look right now, in three years, in ten years? 

*I can do what I can for people but I need to live my life first.  Being self sufficient, emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, is the best gift I can give to others.

*I say I prefer life to just sail along with a gentle breeze, minimal turbulence, and sufficient time to enjoy the view.  Actually, if I’m being honest with myself, I enjoy the thrill of navigating through choppy waters.  And the satisfaction of prevailing over any storm.  I like wind for the speed it inspires and the ever-changing landscapes it creates.

*Still, I can’t dismiss the sheer bliss of periods of floating along too.  


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