Is it physical or mental?
I had an intense workout with Josh on Friday morning. He had me doing leg lunges, 3 sets of 12 on each side. It’s my new leg lifts. In other words, it’s the current exercise I least like. I disliked leg lifts for the longest time. In leg lifts, I’m on my back and lift my legs together. It doesn’t sound complicated or hard. But believe me, the struggle to complete them was a clunky nightmare. I eventually figured out how to do them with minimal suffering and expletives. Although I don’t love them, I don’t hate them…now.
I hate leg lunges!
Leg lunges is thrusting one leg forward forward as the ever knee descends and hits the ground. Again, I know it doesn’t sound like any Evil Knievel stunt. It’s basically genuflecting with purpose. Yet, it’s really difficult for me. On Friday, in my first set of twelve, I struggled a lot. The first one is always hardest as I try to connect the idea to the actual action. It’s a self-guided demonstration as my joints respond to the mental request. Usually, that first one is the worst one both figuratively and literally. And Josh redirects with instructional guidance on where to place my feet and always has to remind me to get my knee all the way on the ground. I would do three or four in a row before pausing and re-focusing. I pushed my way to 12, three or four at a time. I felt it in my legs, my knees, my back, my head.
At the end of the first twelve, I was close tears. After the second set, I cried. Seriously?! I lost it. And I wasn’t in pain… at least not horrible pain. I was just overwhelmed in emotion. Following the outburst, I dried my tears and went on to do 12 elegant leg lunges on each side without pausing. The victory was liberating but mostly shocking.
What happened? I think I’m a mental case! The problem is less in my body and more in my head. I have these mental barriers to achievement. I have to get over those hurdles. My mind is the resistor not my body. When I really think I can’t, my body won’t. For five decades, I’ve given my intellect more attention than my body. It’s always in charge. My body was just the vessel housing me. In the last couple of years, I’ve been focused on the mind-body-spirit connection. And I’ve been increasingly surprised how well my body is responding to my new activities.
It’s like I had this car that I didn’t appreciate and usually neglected. I saw it as something that helped me get around town but annoyed me. Then, one day, I start putting in better fuel. I go on long drives out in the country. I roll down the windows and crank the tunes. All the sudden, the car isn’t only utilitarian, it’s marveling. My body isn’t just functioning, it’s performing. And really is working to perform at an optimal level.
The other day, I ran for the bus. I saw it coming. I was in a hurry.
My mind: There will be another one in a few minutes.
My body: I got this.
My mind: Are you kidding me?
I took off. I ran for the bus. We’re talking 1/2 block. Still, I ran like a gazelle. That’s my spirit animal that Josh refers to when I’m practicing jogging. He always says, “long strides like a gazelle.” I like the imagery. It’s elegant. I want my running to be elegant and effortless. So, moments later, I arrived at the bus. I wasn’t panting or wheezing. No one around seemed to be pointing and laughing.
My mind: Sorry, I didn’t believe you.
My body: It’s okay. I’m used to it.
My mind: I’m working on it.
My body: I know. You’re too cynical! You’re you’re own worst enemy.
My mind: Don’t I know it!