Yesterday, Steve
texted me, “I hope you didn’t know anyone in the Elkhart shootings?”
What the what?
Two people were gunned down at a grocery store Wednesday night. I grew up in Elkhart, Indiana. My parents shop at that Martins.
Earlier this week, a man was killed for texting during the previews at a movie theatre. I love to go to the movies. And I enjoy a good text banter.
Guns!?
I used to be a card carrying member of the NRA. The distinction came from graduating from a gun course. Right out of college, my work in the public defender’s office took me into some dicey locales. I was required to take the class. I was encouraged to carry a gun. I completed the course. I refrained from a gun purchase.
That was 28 years ago. And I have to say a lot of people should be eternally appreciative that I never took up the habit. I have an Irish temper (that has thankfully dissipated with time) and a decisive nature. Last fall, a round of paintball reinforced the notion that I was a warrior in a former life. So, the following people owe a debt of gratitude to my lapsed NRA membership.
*CTA: If I resolved conflict with bullets, many busses would have flat tires. And a high percentage of drivers would be on disability.
*O’Sullivan’s Bartender: In the 90s, I publicly slapped this guy…twice. The second go around wouldn’t have been necessary.
*The Evil One: My former employer, aka the Devil Incarnate, would get the silver bullet. It would have been for the greater good.
*Several Friends: I would never fatally shoot anyone I love. But there are mega people, I would have ended an argument by shooting off their big toe.
*Racists and Homophobes: I realize everyone has the right to their own belief system. Yet, I don’t want to hear a deluge of hate. So in the case of someone pontificating nonsense, I wouldn’t mortally wound them. I’d shoot shots in the air to scare them into dispersing.
*People with 11 items: I’m a counter. People over the express grocery lane limit would be made an example: respect the protocol.
*Cauliflower farmers: Why not?
As much as I pray daily my internal and global peace, it might have gone the other way. It didn’t because I’ve always known this truth: guns are an ineffective means of conflict resolution.