I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next…..Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner
The official end to my birthday-Christmas-New-Years hoopla was yesterday. I had lunch with a dear friend. And as we did our traditional gabfest over mimosas, I toasted the end of the holidays. I’ve been whooping it up for three weeks. I’ve eaten and drank zestfully and questionably. I’ve done some work but I’ve played more than anything. It’s time to buckle down and work my plan.
The funny thing is as I was sharing my current creative quest with him, I realized how ambiguous it was. I’ve got ideas of what I need and want to work on but no solid objectives, no measurable outcomes, no specific timeframes. When I was writing my 500 Days to 50 blog, I had clear expectations and a definite end date. From that experience, I know I have the discipline and passion to write daily. Turning 50 wasn’t a major accomplishment that I can bask in. It’s a dame’s coming-of-age story. I’ve learned lessons about embracing my age. Now what?
On vacation, Roger rattled me by asking about my retirement plan. I’m technically 15 years away from retirement. Of course, I believe that that societal norm will change driven by economic woes and the longevity of this generation of seniors. Still, it’s important to focus on the reality of aging. What will my portfolio look like in 2028? Or 2033? Or 2038? This is my year to start making more strategic decisions about my future. I plan to boost up my investment in my 403 (b) and establish a will. These aren’t fun things to think about. But if I want to maintain my independence and not become a burden on my nieces and nephews, I must plan for it.
My mom retired at 73. At 75, my dad is still working. I imagine I will follow their example. Unlike some of my friends that anticipate the freedom of early retirement, I enjoy the satisfaction of being productive. I see myself always working in some capacity. Right now, I have a full-time job, a server gig, theatre reviewing and my personal writing. It seems like the equivalent of two full-time jobs. In my 70s, it’d be nice to get it down to one full-time job.
And my retirement plan and creative quest can’t ever just be about the money. It has to always be about the quality of my life. Not the accumulation of things. What do I really need to be happy? What can I live without? What are the most important aspects of life to me? These are questions that I continue to grapple with. There isn’t ever one clear answer to any question. Delicious Ambiguity.