In less than two weeks, I’ll turn 51. I hope I remember. Last year, I was very focused on leaving my forties. I was counting down the days, literally, on my 500 Days to 50 blog. And I was planning the big milestone vacation with my friends. We were going to Guatemala and then on to Cancun. I was all about making the transition a grandiose and unforgettable lifetime moment. It was! This year, I’m just looking forward to sitting on my *new* couch, sipping some wine and eating a cookie or three.
Yes, life changes in your fifties. For the better! Wisdom has finally arrived if you choose to let it take center stage. Emotional baggage can be stowed in the back recesses of your mind. You can maintain a newfound calmness especially if you don’t continually recheck that luggage to ensure everything is packed in tight. I’ve learned a lot in this first year of a new decade…
*Pee before you do sit-ups! When you are working out with a personal trainer, he is going to challenge your very core. In a correct sit-up, you are pulling yourself up by pulling your abdomen together. Just like a hearty sneeze or laugh, the momentary force of a strong sit-up can squeeze the pee out of you. Sometimes, you’ll even need to go again to complete the second set of sit-ups. Do it! No one wants you to pee your pants or soak the community mat.
*Defriends weren’t really friends! I’m a passive friend requestor on Facebook. Although I rarely proactively befriend others, I always delight in a new request. And if I know the person, I respond affirmatively. I’ve never defriended anyone. The very act is a deliberate decision to sever relational ties. Don’t get me wrong, I have hidden a few Facebook streams of very dramatic or just boring folks. It’s just that I have never defriended anyone. The act is nasty, passive-aggressive and grade school-esque. I had a couple of startling and not-so-startling defriendships this year.
*Where do I put my energy? I’m learning to focus on the people in my life where there is positivity. The negative ones are draining. I can do what I can to help pull or push them out of being stuck. But I can’t stay in the hole with them. I need to choose not to be the company misery loves. And ultimately, I know everyone always has choices. Sometimes, the choice is to make a small change. Sometimes, it’s to do something radically different. And sometimes, the choice is to do nothing. People forget that they are always choosing.
*‘You are either above the yarn or the yarn is above you.‘ At the play “Lookingglass Alice,” I jotted down that line. The scene had Alice doing aerial feats with a big ball of yarn. Knowing ‘yarn’ can also mean ‘story,’ the resonating notion for me was I am the writer of my own life story. I drive the plot. I add in the characters. When I feel overwhelmed or ‘the yarn is above me,’ I’ve let the story drive me. Yesterday, I was feeling all kinds of icky. It was a combo of not-so-pretty work and life issues. The negativity was gnawing at me. I canceled my evening plans. I came home to rein in my yarn. I did the treadmill, laundry and soaked in a salty bath. I was asleep by 10 and woke up feeling ‘above the yarn.’
*I’m strong and limber! The personal training investment this year is paying off. I’m learning how effective my body is. I’m able to do more than I ever thought possible. My rigidity is dissipating as I learn to stretch or breathe into the ache or discomfort. My body wants to move with me, not without me! At 51, I’m feeling like an athlete-in-training. I’m not looking to run a marathon. For me, it’s just delightful to be nimble enough to bend over and tie my shoes without grunting. This old gal has many more miles in her.
*‘When did you start doing botox?‘ I responded to this question with a pleased, ‘I haven’t.‘ Finally, my huge pores are paying off. They were the bane of my existence during my adolescence. Back in the day, my oily complexion kept me pimply. Now, it keeps me from completely wrinkling over. Still, I don’t mind looking my age. I’m not trying to defy a half-century of living. I’ve got laugh lines and gray hair! I’ve been through 5 decades. This is what 51 looks like. 🙂