I found a white hair yesterday. It doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? UNLESS, it’s sticking straight out of your cheek like a cat whisker and it’s in the middle of your brunch shift. I discovered it, to my horror, during a potty break. And that was in bar lighting that is considered gentle. —Dim bathroom lighting is a-bar-must to ensure people don’t know what they look like as they get plastered. Bars encourage drinking stamina through hazy mirror reflections. — Well, I was bone cold sober and sporting a ½ inch of fish line on my face. Ugh! Two hours and how many observers later, I was able to pluck the pest in the comfort of my home.
HAIR! As we age, men lose it. Women gain it in the most unattractive places. I spend a lot of time plucking, shaving and slathering to ensure I’m hairless where a gal likes to be hairless. The slathering is using cream to chemically kill hair follicles. It’s not a nice, natural remedy. In fact, it smells. It’s one of my multiple strategies to groom myself hairless. I tried a waxing alternative. It was harsh. And it was my painful experience that even the area stripped is never smooth. Hair all grows at different times. So waxing never gets it all at the same time.
I spent my first years of puberty plucking my unibrow into eyebrows. At some point, I no longer had to mow down this hairy trail across my nose. Fast forward thirty years. Lately, I’ve noticed it’s coming back. The edges of my eyebrows are definitely moving towards each other in an effort to close the gap. They want unity. YUCK!
I feel fortunate for all the modern options available to women: tweezing, shearing and grooming in general. Although I feel I have the compassion to do a long stint in a third world country, I know I’m too high maintenance. I don’t worry about living in poverty *for a contained time*. I fear what I would look like after a year without the many products I utilize to maintain a normal look. I’m not even talking about being vain. I’m talking about not being scary.