I finished my second week of mindful eating (drinking). I approached meals with a thoughfulness. I ‘set the table’ and arranged my food. And I cut down on my wine consumption. In my mind, I was achieving this goal. I was approaching eating and drinking with a thoughtfulness. I was targeting healthier choices and slowing down. I was still, however, multitasking. Even though I had made eating the primary function at meal time, I was still performing another activity(ies), secondary or even tertiary. I read a book, watched a show, opened mail…something.
In the discoveries section of “How to Train a Wild Elephant,” it talked about Japan and how the only thing acceptable to eat while walking is an ice cream cone because it’ll melt. Any other takeout is carried home and arranged to optimize the meal. We, as Americans, are very focused on productivity. We have trouble doing ‘nothing’ and just eating. I need to continue to practice having mealtimes as food-focused consumption without doing other things. When I have achieved this dining nirvana, I know I eat faster to ‘get it over with‘ or daydream. Out of all the challenges to date in this book, this one has natural and unavoidable opportunities to try again and again. Everyday, every meal, I can practice this example of living in the moment.
This week’s challenge is *True Compliments.* Daily, I am to select someone (friend, family, coworker) and give them a genuine compliment. The closer the relationship, the better. And I’m to be as specific as possible.
This week should be a breeze. I’m pretty good at recognizing people’s strengths. And I allow myself to share the compliment spontaneously. The positive thought will occur to me and I’ll say it out loud. ‘That shirt looks so pretty with your eyes.‘ ‘I’m proud of the work you’ve already accomplished.‘ ‘Thank you for broadening my vision.‘
I am sincere in my feedback. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it. I’m truthful to a fault.
In my life as a theatre reviewer, I’ve started avoiding opening night parties. Whether people recognize me as a reviewer or not, an actor or director wants feedback… in the form of praise. I usually have something positive I can say about the overall production. I truly do enjoy most shows. A specific actor is harder to address. Recently, an actor introduced herself to me. I had not enjoyed her performance. She seemed to be looking for a compliment. I didn’t have one. I excused myself to go out for a smoke. I don’t smoke. I went home.
In the last few months, someone I love dearly, that is struggling with a lot of sh#t, has asked me to be honest with her. On two occasions, I have responded with, ‘I will always be honest with you. If you really want to know, I will tell you.‘ Both times, she has changed the subject. I know I can be too blunt for someone’s current circumstances. I practice waiting for the actual request for feedback, especially if it’s criticism. Sometimes, I’m successful.
This week I’m to look for the good and point it out…with pleasure! I ate at Dusek’s last night. The duck meat loaf was a visual stunner AND tasty. Well done, Pilsen!