I’m over halfway through Serenity April. I’ve slowed down. Some of my schedule has remained unscheduled. I’ve spent a lot of time breathing easier. And that’s why I can totally justify not succeeding in this week’s challenge in “How to Train a Wild Elephant.”
The book suggested every time the phone rings taking three long breaths. Well, I knew from the get go that was problematic. I seldom get phone calls…even at the office. I modified it to every time I got a text. But that was so inconsistent. I could hyperventilate in a 15 minute interval or turn blue over a course of a few hours. I changed it again to taking three breaths at half past the hour, on the hour. And I did great for two hours and then I drifted into noncompliance.
I took the train home last night. My favorite trick is checking on my phone app to see which of 3 stations coordinates best with which of 3 busses. I had a winner: the Sheridan station and the 151 bus. My window of time pulling into the station was 4 minutes until the bus arrival. I knew it was doable having raced off this platform before. I was ready to burst down the stairs, through the station and out to the curb. I got off the train. I briskly walked to the stairs. With timing befitting an SNL skit, an old man hobbled in front of me. He stretched his arms across the staircase so he could grip each bannister. And he crept down the stairs. I was hoping he would sense my presence and allow me to pass. Weirdly, my negative energy didn’t disrupt his concentration.
By the time, I was on the street I was a bundle of frazzle. I looked both ways but I knew my bus was long gone. My mind was sputtering up a storm. What would I do now? Cab? Get on the next train? Take the #80 bus? What? What?
I caught sight of my little old man continuing his dedicated tottering along the sidewalk. I took in three deep breaths, gave thanks for mobility and prayed for his safety. I was calm again. I checked my bus app. The next 151 was ten minutes away. I remembered I needed milk for my morning coffee. There was a store right behind me…in and out and on the bus.
So much of our life is lived unconsciously and in haste. What are we rushing toward? Instead of living fully in this moment, we are always moving forward, grabbing at the next minute, the next hour, the next day.
-How to Train a Wild Elephant
And breathe, just breathe. I need to practice breathing in the fresh air so I can expel the nastiness inside of me. I’m only in a hurry in my mind. There is nothing to rush to. My life is right here, not over there. I’m in it, not on my way to it.
Next week’s challenge is loving touch. I’m to put some physical reminder on my hand to remember to reach out with a loving touch. The hands exercises are my fave. Such power in touch. I just need to remember ‘smacking the crap out of people‘ isn’t a loving gesture. This picture is a plate from Scooby’s house. The sentiment is so true about both strangers and familiars that aggravate me.