Over the holidays, I read an article that European kids are more content than American ones because they know the difference between want and need. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation to me. I had an ‘hmmm’ response. It makes sense. Christmas USA always has had a gluttonous flavor. And it feels like it’s just picking up speed. Serious credit card debt is incurred as parents shower their children in present windfalls.
I’m always amazed when a parent responds to my quizzical stare with the automatic justification, ‘she really wants XYZ.’
Okay but does she need it? And more importantly does she know the difference?
And it’s not just kids. It’s adults too. We need to get a grip on differentiating between want and need. By focusing on what we need to thrive, we eliminate the paralysis of want. Wanting something to be bestowed on us isn’t being in the driver seat. It’s waiting for the want to be satisfied by an external force. Addressing the need provides the catalyst to achievement. I struggle to understand the difference myself. And I’m constantly readjusting my expectations to stay need focused.
I WANT world peace! It’s a huge concept. And not at all manageable by just me. Still…
I NEED to be kinder and more compassionate of the people I come into contact with. This I could practice daily. And the action would result in a peaceful environment for me to live in.
I WANT to make a difference in the world! It’s a grandiose thought wanting present and future folks to know I existed. I’d like to leave my historical mark like Mother Teresa, Madame Curie, J.K. Rowling. The clock is ticking. It’s probably never going to happen. Still…
I NEED to help people so I’ve committed my life work to human services. Some might argue it wasn’t the smart decision. Although my retirement fund is clearly not at the levels of my for-profit friends, I can look back on three decades and know I made a difference in many people’s lives.
I WANT to make a living writing. As I grapple with career exploration for my next phase, I keep ruminating over my passion to write. And I tell anyone who will listen… that I want to be paid to write what I want to write and not be edited. Who doesn’t want that kind of arrangement? Sub any creative expression for ‘write.’ I want to be paid to ________! (act, cook, paint, design, travel, etc.) Still…
I NEED to write to be happy. Since I started blogging 6 years ago, I’ve learnt how much I love to write. I’m a storyteller. And writing a blog keeps me from monopolizing dinner conversations — or at least decreases the urge. I’ve released my creative voice. And the pleasure is THE payment! (Or so, I keep telling myself.)
I WANT to be thin. I WANT to be taller. I WANT my eyes to be bigger and my nose to be smaller. I WANT to have Barbie’s dimensions. It’s the rare person that is completely happy in the looks department. We’re so hard on our appearance. Still…
I NEED to be healthy. The statement ‘if you have your health, you have everything.’ is pretty true. After letting ‘wanting to be thin’ desire to drive decades of dieting, I now focus on being at my optimal health. And I define optimal health as being fit too! And all my attention to personal training, yoga, and walking is having an amazing impact on my body-mind-spirit connection.
I WANT a Keurig coffeemaker. For years, I’ve guffawed at these single brewing pods. It’s counterproductive to the environmentally focused. And it has all the bells and whistles for the lazy, smug and over-indulgent coffee drinker. And then when we were in Myrtle Beach, I fell in love with Joey’s. It’s a perfect cup every time! Still…
I NEED to own it. I bought a Keurig coffeemaker. I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I splurged on a want! And my life is a little happier, one cup at a time.
“You can’t always get what you want but if you try real hard you might get what you need.”
-Rolling Stones