You know you’re old when…

Friday, May 9, 2014 Permalink 0

In the past week, I’ve had three incidents of significance reminding me that I’m old.

First, I used my AARP card.  Although I joined AARP right after I turned 50 (December), I hadn’t used the card yet.  When I rented a car this past weekend, I realized AARP gives me 10% off at Budget.  Same car place I’ve used for 20 years, new perk… being old.  I put in the code on my online reservation and flashed the card at the desk.

I’ve never been one to lie about my age.  And if I can save money, I’m all in.  I bought the AARP membership for $16 so I just need $16 worth of discounts to break even.  Following the ease of obtaining the Budget bonus, I’m more aware of cashing in on AARP discounts.  Why not?  I’ve got the stiffness of the aged and retirement looming.  I need to stay fluid and save money for the expenses coming.  My body is going from ‘gently used’ to ‘vintage.’

Another indicator is my eyesight is getting worse.  I have glasses for long distance.  I wear prescription sunglasses all the time….sometimes even indoors.  My eyes are sensitive to fluorescent and other harsh lighting.  I wear my regular glasses for plays, presentations and other activities requiring focus.  I typically don’t wear them at work.  They have  bifocal bottoms but that’s not helpful reading a computer screen.  So at the office and on my brunch shift, I don’t wear them because I’m working on a computer.

Twice last week, I sounded like Mr. Magoo.  At the office, I misidentified a person with ‘that volunteer looks a lot like Gwen.‘  Someone responded ‘that is Gwen.‘  On Sunday, I announced to the dinner shift, ‘look you get grilled cheese sandwiches.‘  Brian corrected me with, ‘those are waffles.‘  Both times, the clarification was accompanied with, ‘where are your glasses?‘

My glasses are two years old.  It’s time to bring back The Committee (Bill, Roger, Steve) to select a new pair.  Last time, I had pre-chosen three pairs that were rejected by The Committee.  I ended up trying on 59 pairs before consensus was reached.  The bonus is the opinionated selection process is free and AARP members get a 30% discount at the Pearl Vision near my office.

The third incident was in the mail yesterday.  A cheerful communique told me ‘after age 50,’ I should be having a colorectal cancer screening AKA colonoscopy.  Poop!  It’s one of those things that I knew I was aging into.  Still, the letter indicating contact your primary physician within 60 days was daunting.  And the entire prospect has a maximum ick factor.

No Comments Yet.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.