I’m a complimenter. I actively look for the positive in situations. And I comment on it.
Some of it is surface stuff…
‘That shirt looks so pretty with your eyes.’
Some of it has a deeper meaning…
‘Your passion for the cause inspires me to be a better person.’
Last week’s challenge in “How to Train a Wild Elephant,”was to compliment people. I’ve practiced this in my life for some time. It aligns with my mom’s philosophy from my childhood. She used to tell my sisters and I, ‘if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.‘
I adhere to that…mostly. I am an honest person. If someone wants my negative opinion, I share it. If they ask for constructive criticism, I’ll deliver it. Mostly, I look at the situation or person and see what went right. I’ll point that out. I’ll express the positive aspect.
In the deeper lessons section of my book, it talks about…
The Buddhist teachings describe three feeling tones we experience in reaction to people, objects, or events: positive (a happy feeling), negative (an irritated feeling), and neutral (no positive or negative feelings). When we feel positively about a person, we are more likely to beam a positive feeling tone toward them and to give them compliments.
Not surprisingly, the book also points out the shortcuts we take with the people that we know the best. They become the furniture of our life. We are more likely to limit our feedback to critiques about things they should change. We don’t take the time to express gratitude for the person they are. This is something I need to continue to focus on.
FINAL WORDS: Kind words are a gift. They create wealth in the heart.
This week’s challenge is posture. Since I started practicing yoga, I’m very aware of hunching my shoulders. Especially in the winter, I’m in constant cringe mode. My shoulders curl in. My stance is closed off and becomes achy. I do so much better when I push my shoulders back, thrust my chest out, and hold my head up. I physically open myself up to the day, to the person, to life.